Life with Kids and Traveling with them too!

We did it!

stephanie — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:48:28 +0000

We survived our first week of Kindergarten. While I would love to say to all of you that I was strong and didn’t shed a tear….well, that would be a complete fabrication. In fact, I think the tears are still flowing. Thankfully, many of my friends are in the exact same phase of their lives, so I have many who can relate to all that I have been feeling and it’s reassuring to know that I am not alone. My husband, being the great guy he is, will always make me laugh as he sees the tears start to roll. He always tells me, “Remember if God didn’t want you to be emotional, he wouldn’t have given you emotions, or he would have made you a Man.” So, ladies (or men), feel free to Cry and Be Proud!! I’ll keep this post short as I just wanted you all to know - we are done with Week 1, and it did get a little easier and less emotional each day. On the 2nd day without me (I was allowed to spend the 1st day with my girl), my daughter showed what a big girl she was & proved she was ready to be a Kindergartener. On about my 5th hug, and who knows how many kisses, she looked at my teary-eyed face and said, “Mommy, I will only be gone for a few hours, you’ll see, it won’t be too long.” And with that she was off running around with all the other boys & girls…. I don’t when or how our roles changed, but she did make me feel much better. She absolutely loves being in Kindergarten! So, what more could I ask for? Here’s hoping that all of you and your children had a great first week too!

It’s the Beginning.

stephanie — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:32:26 +0000

Summer is almost over and school will soon start for many, if it hasn’t already. In my house, it’s the start of a new chapter. My daughter will be starting Kindergarten, and while she is ecstatic and can’t wait until the first day, my husband and I have been dreading this day all summer. It’s officially the beginning of the “Big Girl” stage…meaning our baby isn’t such a baby anymore. While I am feeling sad, excited, anxious, worried, etc. about the start of Kindergarten, I am also looking forward to all the new experiences that she will soon have. Even though I know there will be some sad times, some heartaches, some stressful times, along with the happy times, I know that these experiences, whether good or bad, will help to shape her into the person she will become. I also know that there will be many ”opportunities and choices” in this new chapter. We’ve done our best to mold her during these crucial first five years and hopefully instill in her the values we find important. Now school will determine whether we did do our “best” or could have done “better”. No longer will we be the only voice in our daughter’s mind…soon her mind will be filled with many other voices…. voices of teachers, peers, other students, and other adults, and most importantly, her own voice. She will have to decide for herself, using her first 5 years as a guidance, on how she will use these “voices”. Will she be a leader? Will she be a follower? Will she choose the “right thing”? Will she be a good person? All to be determined. It’s just like reading a novel and we are on Chapter 1. Of course, I do not underestimate the influence of parent involvement and I certainly don’t feel my job is over. I intend to have a watchful eye over her as much as I possibly can and to be involved and available as much as I possibly can, but I’m also realistic and know that even with all of my involvement — there will be those moments. Those moments when mommy & daddy are not right there to guide. I can only hope (and pray) that she will do the “right” thing, even during those times when doing the “right” thing is harder than doing the “wrong thing”. I hope this will be one of those moments in life when I look back 20 years from now and laugh at how I worried myself silly for nothing. For now, I watch my daughter as she excitedly prances around in her new school uniforms giving us a fashion show. Her smile couldn’t be any bigger. The chapter begins…

Getting rid of “stuff”

stephanie — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:41:05 +0000

Recently we moved and in the process of packing and unpacking, we managed to get rid of a lot of “stuff ” that we didn’t need. It’s amazing how much “stuff” one can accumulate over time. Perhaps its getting a year older or just plain getting wiser….I have started to get rid of a lot of the ”stuff” in my life and let me tell you….it feels good! First, I started with the actual ”stuff” - old clothes, dishes, vases, etc. Each time I unpacked an item I asked myself: Do I want this? Does it bring me joy? Do I really need this? I was amazed at how often times the answer was “NO!”. Yes, even that size 2, suede skirt I was saving from high school was part of the “stuff” that I finally let go. I then focused on other ”stuff” in my life that were bringing me down. I let go of ‘bad” clients in my practice, and I was amazed at how reenergized and empowered I felt! Next, I focused on the people in my life. And much like the way I got rid of old clothes, I asked myself the same three questions above. What I realized is that I, like probably some of you, have spent too much time devoting myself to people who brought me no joy and added no value to my life! You know what I mean, the people you think are your friends, but you know that whenever there is an opportunity to say something negative about you, they don’t let it pass them by. The people who are more interested in what you do, who you know, rather than who you are. The people who find it hard to say, “I’m happy for you” with sincerity. Yes, we all have these people or this “stuff’ in our lives. And no longer in my 20’s, I don’t feel the need to be friends with the “hip and cool crowd” any longer. I want “genuine” people in my life and let’s face it, when people are trying to be hip & cool, they aren’t very genuine. You want someone who appreciates you for “you” and all that you have to offer. Knows your good points and your bad points, but knows they aren’t perfect either, and instead of focusing on the bad, values all the good in you. Someone who will listen to what you have to say and not just what they want to hear. Someone who may not always agree with your opinion or point of view but acknowledges that you do have a difference of opinion, and its still okay. Someone who welcomes you into their life wholeheartedly, without reservations and/or jealousy. Someone who calls just because they want to know how you are and to say hi. I am still working on this last group of “stuff”, and yes, I admit, I was a little sad as my list of people I wanted in my life dwindled from 30 to 5, but I remind myself when I die, I don’t want to know that I had lots, and lots of acquaintances in life. I want to know that I chose people in my life who were really good, genuine people that brought a lot of joy into my life. Getting rid of this “stuff” is not an easy task, but it’ll sure make you feel good in the end. I say this to my daughter and she argues her plea for needing “all” of her baby toys. Reluctantly, she gives in. As we pack them in a box to deliver to Angelview, she says, “Mommy, you’re right. I don’t need them and I don’t play with them anymore.” “Good girl” I say, now let’s get rid of all this “stuff”.

Summer Plans

stephanie — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:46:26 +0000

Our summer sure hasn’t worked out as planned. It should be no surprise as when you “plan” something, the plans usually tend to change, at least in my household. We had a summer of “fun, fun, fun” planned and we were all looking forward to traveling and enjoying our time together. Not that we haven’t been having fun or enjoying our time, just not as we had imagined. Our first “planned” fun, trip of the summer, was the trip to Grandma’s 100th Birthday in New Mexico. (Yes, 100!). And if you keep up with my updates, than you all know that I stayed home to handle the paperwork for our “big move” while the rest of my gang took the trip. It was painful, but fortunately, only a few days and we all managed to survive! Next, our very good friends from the east coast were coming out to our sunny west coast & we had planned (months in advance) to meet up with them in San Diego and spend a week at the beach while we celebrated their son’s birthday. Of course, as fate would have it, our ” big move”,which had been delayed a month at this point, just happened to take place the very same week! We did manage to visit with them for a day though, and at Legoland, so all was not lost. Then amidst all the unpacking and getting settled, we were supposed to be taking a ”planned” road trip (planned a year ago) to Colorado for our friends’ wedding. Yes, a road trip, perfect thing to do when gas is about $50 a gallon….or whatever it is now. Well, that didn’t quite work out as “planned” either. My hubby and daughter flew out to Colorado this morning, while myself and our little guy stayed back home. Yes, summer time, which should be slow, not very busy, has somehow managed to be my busiest time of the year! It’s a bit unfair, yes, and disappointing. However, the funny thing through all of these changes to our “plans and fun”, and as disappointed as I was, if you had looked at my kids, you would had never known there had been any changes to our summer. They managed to have “fun” no matter where we were or what we were doing. Like the day our move was switched from a Friday to Monday and our beds were all “packed” away, so we had to make due and sleep on mattresses only. My husband and I were frustrated with the whole situation and all it took was one glance at our kids to instantly change the mood. They were laughing & giggling with blankets spread everywhere. Sleeping on mattresses was not only “fun” but as my daughter said, “cool” too! And when we took the kids to the Discovery Musuem instead of the beach b/c our plans had changed, I realized beach or museum, it really didn’t matter - they managed to have fun and were likely just as happy as they would have been at the beach. Yes, kids have a way of making you realize that what you think is important really isn’t important at all. In fact, my daughter offered to stay home with me instead of go to Colorado (even though she was excited about wearing her fancy, new dress) so that I wouldn’t be lonely. So, I convinced her that her brother & I would be fine, and this was her “special trip” with daddy - to which she immediately perked up & stuffed her backpack full of stuff! Seeing the excitement in her eyes as she realized that instead of this being a “trip”, it was a ”special trip” for her and daddy, well, it was all I needed to realize that even though my summer isn’t quite going as “I” imagined or planned, her summer is better than she could have Ever Imagined. I have to imagine my son’s summer is going pretty good too. As he splashed me & giggled as I gave him his bath this evening, and then hugged me tight as I put him down to bed, and then as I was closing his door, I glanced his way and he gave me the biggest smile before he lay down his head. I realized (as my heart melted), he doesn’t need fancy trips or vacations either to have fun. None of us do. Fun doesn’t happen because you plan something or go somewhere. Fun happens because you allow yourself to have FUN. So, now, go out and have some fun!!!

I survived!

stephanie — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:33:18 +0000

In about 5 hours I will be driving to the airport to pick up my gang! Somehow I managed to make it through the 4 days they were gone. Thanks to all of you for the calls & e-mails. Special thanks to my girlfriends for the lunch date & pedi/mani treatment. My tummy and toes thank you too! Aside from trying to keep myself as busy as possible, it wasn’t always easy to get through the days. I found myself in both of my kid’s rooms each day. Sometimes cleaning or organizing, and other times just imagining that they were there playing. Most days we end up on the rocking chair in my son’s room, both of them cuddled on my lap as we sing songs or read books, so the rocking chair was my place of comfort while they were gone. Each day they called as promised. The first day the kids showed no real signs of missing me — there were parties and family to visit! By the second day, I was pleasantly suprised by 2 calls instead of 1. My son was starting to show signs of missing me so my hubby wanted him to hear my voice. By the 3rd day, I think the whole family was ready to come home. While it sure felt good to know that they needed and missed me, it hurt a little more to know that they were hurting! What had been getting me through the days was thinking of how much fun they were having & reassuring myself that when they started to miss me - they would be home! It made me realize that while I was working to get through the days without them, they were doing the same! This whole experience has been a learning one. I’ve realized that if I didn’t have kids, I would probably be a well manicured, very put together, Size 2-4, person. But, I would also be very unfulfilled, lonely, and unhappy. So, I’ll settle for my unmanicured, somewhat pulled together (if I’m lucky), never going to be a Size 2-4 self! If anything, at least my “self” is a very happy “self” and if I have to compromise my vanity for unconditional love from my family and lots of giggles — so be it! Cheers to all of you who make sacrifices each and every day for your family. I truly admire you.

Home Alone!

stephanie — Fri, 30 May 2008 21:43:38 +0000

My husband and children left today for a 4 day trip to New Mexico. I am staying home to take care of some many needed adminstrative details, as well as, catch up on some work. While this trip has been scheduled for a few weeks now, I woke up this morning with knots in my tummy. The achiness of being without my family for 4 days had suddenly occurred to me. I tried every trick and persuasion that could come to mind to convince my daughter that she should stay home with me. Ice Cream, a trip to the toy store, watching a movie — none of my “tricks” worked. She assured me that she would be back soon and that she loves me very much! Knowing that she was much “wiser” than her years let on….I then tried to persuade my hubby that our son would be better off staying with me. “Think of the airport, the plane ride, his naps…..yada yada yada”…I went on. Nope, didn’t work on my hubby either. Their bags were packed & they were off! It’s been about 5 hours since I dropped them off at the airport and I have had 3 girlfriends call me to make sure I was okay and to see how I was occupying my time. (Thanks gals!) I have assured them, “I’m very mature now (another +1 year added to my 30 something years this week), I will be okay…..my days are full, I’m going to clean this & organize that, etc. etc.” I’m sure they all realize I am working hard to convince myself, more than them! My family just phoned to tell me their plane landed and they are now “en route” to Nana and Grandpo’s house! With promises to call each night and kisses shared through the phone…they were gone, again. One of my girlfriends said I should be ECSTATIC! She said, “4 Days without the Kids? Can I pay your hubby to take mine too?” She than started daydreaming about all the things she would do to occupy herself: movies, shopping, pedicures, massage, sleeping…… I must admit, all of her ideas sound fabulous. I do have a gift card I got for my bday to spend… There is that movie I have been wanting to see…. My unpolished, dry feet could sure use a good rub….. It has been awhile since I slept in past 7:00 a.m……. Hmmmmmm………achiness is still there, but not so “achy” at the moment…..

Update on our “No More Meat” …

stephanie — Wed, 28 May 2008 03:29:06 +0000

I have been asked time & time again, “Are you still doing the No-Meat thing?” So, to all of my readers out there (all 3 of you), the answer is…..YES! After almost 2 months, I am proud to say that we have not “fallen off the wagon yet!” However, there seem to be a few people out there who just love to label us as vegetarians and then are quick to point out that they could do what we were doing if they ate fish too! Let me just say, that I never said we were vegetarians. I merely said, we were going to be non-meat eaters. Before the die hard vegetarians/vegans out there want to “stone me”, I just wanted to make that clarification….and yes, we do eat shrimp and ocassionally, fish. What does that make us……. ”pescatarians?”. I have no idea & it really doesn’t matter. We are not doing this for anyone but ourselves. Now, let me get to the next question we are often asked, “Have you lost any weight?” Hmmm….we didn’t do this to lose weight, although, I am starting to notice that people seem to think if you don’t eat burgers & steaks anymore it must be b/c you want lose a few pounds. Although, I certainly wouldn’t mind that ….it was not the reason for our change. But, NO, we did not lose weight. Unfortunately, to make up for the lack of “meat”, we made up for it by adding bread, cheese, pasta……yup……no weight loss here! Obviously, our next step is to try and be “healthier non-meat” eaters. Many vegetarians and vegans will tell you that it took anywhere from a few years to 10 years to become veggies! It takes time because it is not easy to switch “cold turkey” (we are learning as we go along). I would recommend to anyone wanting to make a switch to do it gradually. Maybe give up beef for a few weeks, then pork, etc. The third question I am often asked, “Where do you get your protein?”. My answer is usually this: soy, tofu, tempeh, beans, cheese, milk, etc. Usually people than realize that “protein” does not = “meat”. So, yes, we are chugging along & taking it in stride, but I must admit, I do have the occassional craving! Especially around that time mother nature plays her visit! I quickly remind myself that by not eating meat I am not only saving an animal’s life, but the environment too! I have flashes of the “infamous” video I watched….and tofu starts sounding pretty good. The kids have done great….they really haven’t noticed a change. We filled our fridge with soy dogs, tofurkey, non-nuggets, smart ground, etc. and they are none the wiser! I am quick to point out to them though that they are not eating meat. I don’t want to give them mixed messages. My daughter is probably the glue that keeps us together in this crusade. If my husband says, “Chicken enchiladas sound good right now”, my daughter is quick to respond with, “Daddy, we are saving the animals!” To which he’ll reply, “Cheese enchiladas it is!” We take it day by day….some days are harder than others…but we’re doing it.

Lazy days of summer…

stephanie — Mon, 19 May 2008 02:34:42 +0000

What do you do when you live in the desert and it’s a 100+ degrees outside? Chances are you spend a lot of time in the pool, if you are fortunate to have one. Yes, I said “fortunate”. Us “desert folk” are so accustomed to having pools, that it is only until we converse with people who don’t live in the desert that we realize a pool is a “luxury” not everybody has. The past 3 days our desert has reached the 100’s in temperature. A gentle reminder to us that our beautiful weather is passing us by and the heat will soon be here. Like many, we have spent the past 3 days swimming and playing in the pool, followed by long naps afterwards. Ahhh…what a life, huh? It’s easy to lose one’s sense of humbleness when you live in an area like Palm Springs. It’s a very black and white society between the “Have’s” and the “Have Nots”. So much energy is spent on what we wish we had and what we don’t have, rather than focusing and being thankful for what we do! My husband and I come from very humble beginnings. We know the hard work it takes to create a dollar and we are probably what some would call “frugal” at times. As I was cleaning out old files recently, I came across an old bank statement from 1995. We had exactly $145.22 in our bank account. I glanced through our check register and saw that at times, we would be down to $20. We would probably have been considered “poor”, I’m sure. Yet, we never knew it. We didn’t have a pool, we didn’t have a house. In fact, we lived in a litte one bedroom apartment (now called a studio) in Texas….and we were happy. If you were to ask me then if I would ever have my own swimming pool, I probably would have replied with, “People actually have their own?” Now I look around and see all this “stuff” we have accumulated and wonder how it will affect my children. We do our best to teach them that it is better to give than to receive, but let’s face it….kids have it really good these days. I have to wonder how good of a job we are really doing, especially when my daughter asks when is the next time we are going to Disneyland. I, like many, want to provide for my children and give them a better life than I had. In doing so, I have to wonder if I am doing more bad than good. I am very sensible when it comes to money and I don’t live beyond my means. But I don’t think these are attributes I was born with. They are attributes I acquired through my experience as a child. So, I definitely wonder, what types of attributes my children will learn through their experience. I can only hope and try. I’ve heard the best teacher leads through example, so that is what we are trying to do. As we splashed around in the pool today, I took the time and as a gentle reminder said to everyone, “Geez, having a pool is so much fun. We sure are lucky to have one, because not everyone does.” My daughter than said, “Mommy, we should invite all the people that don’t have one to swim in our pool!” And with that, I suddenly felt at ease. The future looks bright…….and humble……

Golf in the Desert…..for the kids!

stephanie — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:55:11 +0000

Some good friends of ours recently told us about “The First Tee” of Coachella Valley, a golf class for the little ones. They have had their daughter enrolled for a few weeks and raved so much about the class that we decided to enroll our daughter and give it a try too! I wasn’t too sure how my daughter would take to a “golf class”….I mean, I find it kinda boring (sorry, to any golfers out there), however, to our surprise (and delight) she was enthralled with the “Coach” (a very enthusiastic, sweet gal, who I learned has played on the “the tour”) and absolutely enjoyed herself! My husband (an avid golf lover) was, of course, beside himself and was already saying “Move over Nancy Lopez!” (I just learned myself that Nancy Lopez is one of the best female golfers.). Not being a golf enthusiast myself, I must admit that I too was excited that my daughter has discovered a new “joy” and I was quite impressed with her willingness to try something new that she knew absolutely nothing about. Also, I think it will be great that my daughter and husband have something speical for just them to share together! In addition to the really great staff at The First Tee (located in Palm Desert), another big plus is that with the yearly membership dues ($100), the children can visit The First Tee at anytime and hit some practice balls on their little 3 par course. The classes are held early Saturday mornings and although I wasn’t too thrilled with having to get up so early on a Saturday morning, it gets us out of our pajamas earlier than noon (a definite plus), and since the class only lasts one hour, the whole day is still left to enjoy & relax! The First Tee just opened in January 2008 and I have no doubt that once our valley residents start to learn about it, we will have many little golf enthusiasts here in the desert. Here is a pic of our “new little golfer!”

Toddler Woes…

stephanie — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:40:42 +0000

We’ve all heard about or experienced the dreaded terrible two’s right? We were fortunate with my daughter that the terrible two’s never came. We waited anxiously when the three’s came expecting them to rear their ugly head……fortunately, they didn’t. We internally thought, ”thank goodness” as we witnessed other 2 and 3 years old stamping their feet with red faces and screaming in defiance, as their parents looked helpless feeling defeated trying any means to get them to stop. Yes, our daughter was very easy during those toddler years. We were fortunate, we know. However we weren’t let off that hook that easy. Our son is definitely making up for our daughter’s lack of defiance. At only 14 months old, my husband and I often look at eachother baffled that at this age he has no problem letting the world know when he is not happy. It’s suprising, because as an infant he was very calm and mellow. I think now that all those times we were gazing into eachother’s eyes he was trying to tell me, ”Just you wait mommy…..”. This may come to a surprise to many of our friends. In fact, they probably don’t believe me. We’ve had many play and lunch dates and he has been a happy go-lucky 1 year old. Yes, he saves his “vibrant, spirited, determined” little self for us at home. While we’ve never had to deal with these little outbursts of tantrums with our daughter, this is all very new to us. To see our son go from his charming, happy self to an episode from the exorcist, all in an instant, is well, shocking! I never knew his little body could be so flexible during those times of frustration, but, he has a backbend like I’ve never seen before! I definitely know the helplessness feeling now. Yes, I’ve read the books, I know the distraction technique, time out, etc. etc. But, usually, my husband and I just stop and watch in fascination with it all. We usually look at one another and than very quickly say, “he got this from you!” Then we burst out laughing, because well, its probably the only thing from preventing us from breaking out into tears……and that typically changes the mood because my son will stop baffled at our reaction. Afterall, that’s why our children act defiantly, for our reaction, right? Yesterday I had the pleasure of experiencing a little “outburst” alone. I didn’t have my husband to help feed off of and I would have felt downright silly laughing to myself….so I did try somewhat of a distraction technique. Although, I must admit, at the time I didn’t think of it as a distraction technique. Instead I thought, “I am going to take pictures for his scrap book, so that when he gets older, he can see how silly he used to be.” At first he ignored me as I clicked away, and then he stopped, interested. Then his frown turned upside down instantly as it became a game! I then had my happy, go-lucky, baby boy back. The only problem is, now I have to take my camera with me eveywhere! :0) For all you mommys and daddys dealing with toddlers, hang in there. If anything, remind yourself You Are Not Alone in this adventure! And then break out the camera too! For your viewing pleasure, a few pics from this experience……