Life with Kids and Traveling with them too!

In about 5 hours I will be driving to the airport to pick up my gang!  Somehow I managed to make it through the 4 days they were gone.  Thanks to all of you for the calls & e-mails.  Special thanks to my girlfriends for the lunch date & pedi/mani treatment.  My tummy and toes thank you too!  Aside from trying to keep myself as busy as possible, it wasn’t always easy to get through the days.  I found myself in both of my kid’s rooms each day.  Sometimes cleaning or organizing, and other times just imagining that they were there playing.  Most days we end up on the rocking chair in my son’s room, both of them cuddled on my lap as we sing songs or read books, so the rocking chair was my place of comfort while they were gone.  Each day they called as promised.  The first day the kids showed no real signs of missing me — there were parties and family to visit!  By the second day, I was pleasantly suprised by 2 calls instead of 1.  My son was starting to show signs of missing me so my hubby wanted him to hear my voice.    By the 3rd day, I think the whole family was ready to come home.  While it sure felt good to know that they needed and missed me, it hurt a little more to know that they were hurting!  What had been getting me through the days was thinking of how much fun they were having & reassuring myself that when they started to miss me - they would be home!  It made me realize that while I was working to get through the days without them, they were doing the same!  This whole experience has been a learning one.  I’ve realized that if I didn’t have kids, I would probably be a well manicured, very put together, Size 2-4, person.  But, I would also be very unfulfilled, lonely, and unhappy.  So, I’ll settle for my unmanicured, somewhat pulled together (if I’m lucky), never going to be a Size 2-4 self!  If anything, at least my “self” is a very happy “self” and if I have to compromise my vanity for unconditional love from my family and lots of giggles — so be it!  Cheers to all of you who make sacrifices each and every day for your family.  I truly admire you.

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My husband and children left today for a 4 day trip to New Mexico.  I am staying home to take care of some many needed adminstrative details, as well as, catch up on some work.  While this trip has been scheduled for a few weeks now, I woke up this morning with knots in my tummy.  The achiness of being without my family for 4 days had suddenly occurred to me.  I tried every trick and persuasion that could come to mind to convince my daughter that she should stay home with me.  Ice Cream,  a trip to the toy store, watching a movie — none of my “tricks” worked.  She assured me that she would be back soon and that she loves me very much!  Knowing that she was  much “wiser” than her years let on….I then tried to persuade my hubby that our son would be better off staying with me.  “Think of the airport, the plane ride, his naps…..yada yada yada”…I went on.  Nope, didn’t work on my hubby either.  Their bags were packed & they were off!  It’s been about 5 hours since I dropped them off at the airport and I have had 3 girlfriends call me to make sure I was okay and to see how I was occupying my time.  (Thanks gals!)  I have assured them, “I’m very mature now (another +1 year added to my 30 something years this week), I will be okay…..my days are full, I’m going to clean this & organize that, etc. etc.”  I’m sure they all realize I am working hard to convince myself, more than them!  My family just phoned to tell me their plane landed and they are now “en route” to Nana and Grandpo’s house!  With promises to call each night and kisses shared through the phone…they were gone, again.  One of my girlfriends said I should be ECSTATIC!  She said, “4 Days without the Kids?  Can I pay your hubby to take mine too?”  She than started daydreaming about all the things she would do to occupy herself:  movies, shopping, pedicures, massage, sleeping……   I must admit, all of her ideas sound fabulous.  I do have a gift card I got for my bday to spend…  There is that movie I have been wanting to see….  My unpolished, dry feet could sure use a good rub…..  It has been awhile since I slept in past 7:00 a.m…….   Hmmmmmm………achiness is still there, but not so “achy” at the moment…..

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I have been asked time & time again, “Are you still doing the No-Meat thing?”  So, to all of my readers out there (all 3 of you), the answer is…..YES!  After almost 2 months, I am proud to say that we have not “fallen off the wagon yet!”  However, there seem to be a few people out there who just love to label us as vegetarians and then are quick to point out that they could do what we were doing if they ate fish too!  Let me just say, that I never said we were vegetarians.  I merely said, we were going to be non-meat eaters.  Before the die hard vegetarians/vegans out there want to “stone me”, I just wanted to make that clarification….and yes, we do eat shrimp and ocassionally, fish.  What does that make us……. ”pescatarians?”.  I have no idea & it really doesn’t matter.  We are not doing this for anyone but ourselves.   Now, let me get to the next question we are often asked, “Have you lost any weight?”  Hmmm….we didn’t do this to lose weight, although, I am starting to notice that people seem to think if you don’t eat burgers & steaks anymore it must be b/c you want lose a few pounds.  Although, I certainly wouldn’t mind that ….it was not the reason for our change.   But, NO, we did not lose weight.  Unfortunately, to make up for the lack of “meat”, we made up for it by adding bread, cheese, pasta……yup……no weight loss here!  Obviously, our next step is to try and be “healthier non-meat” eaters.  Many vegetarians and vegans will tell you that it took anywhere from a few years to 10 years to become veggies!  It takes time because it is not easy to switch “cold turkey” (we are learning as we go along).  I would recommend to anyone wanting to make a switch to do it gradually.  Maybe give up beef for a few weeks, then pork, etc.  The third question I am often asked, “Where do you get your protein?”.  My answer is usually this:  soy, tofu, tempeh, beans, cheese, milk, etc.  Usually people than realize that “protein” does not = “meat”.  So, yes, we are chugging along & taking it in stride, but I must admit, I do have the occassional craving!  Especially around that time mother nature plays her visit!  I quickly remind myself that by not eating meat I am not only saving an animal’s life, but the environment too!  I have flashes of the “infamous” video I watched….and tofu starts sounding pretty good.  The kids have done great….they really haven’t noticed a change.  We filled our fridge with soy dogs, tofurkey, non-nuggets, smart ground, etc. and they are none the wiser!  I am quick to point out to them though that they are not eating meat.  I don’t want to give them mixed messages.  My daughter is probably the glue that keeps us together in this crusade.  If my husband says, “Chicken enchiladas sound good right now”, my daughter is quick to respond with, “Daddy, we are saving the animals!”  To which he’ll reply, “Cheese enchiladas it is!”  We take it day by day….some days are harder than others…but we’re doing it.

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What do you do when you live in the desert and it’s a 100+ degrees outside?  Chances are you spend a lot of time in the pool, if you are fortunate to have one.  Yes, I said “fortunate”.  Us “desert folk” are so accustomed to having pools, that it is only until we converse with people who don’t live in the desert that we realize a pool is a “luxury” not everybody has.  The past 3 days our desert has reached the 100’s in temperature.  A gentle reminder to us that our beautiful weather is passing us by and the heat will soon be here.  Like many, we have spent the past 3 days swimming and playing in the pool, followed by long naps afterwards.  Ahhh…what a life, huh?  It’s easy to lose one’s sense of humbleness when you live in an area like Palm Springs.  It’s a very black and white society between the “Have’s” and the “Have Nots”.  So much energy is spent on what we wish we had and what we don’t have, rather than focusing and being thankful for what we do!  My husband and I come from very humble beginnings.  We know the hard work it takes to create a dollar and we are probably what some would call “frugal” at times.  As I was cleaning out old files recently, I came across an old bank statement from 1995.  We had exactly $145.22 in our bank account.  I glanced through our check register and saw that at times, we would be down to $20.  We would probably have been considered “poor”, I’m sure.  Yet, we never knew it. We didn’t have a pool, we didn’t have a house.  In fact, we lived in a litte one bedroom apartment (now called a studio) in Texas….and we were happy.  If you were to ask me then if I would ever have my own swimming pool, I probably would have replied with, “People actually have their own?”  Now I look around and see all this “stuff” we have accumulated and wonder how it will affect my children.  We do our best to teach them that it is better to give than to receive, but let’s face it….kids have it really good these days.  I have to wonder how good of a job we are really doing, especially when my daughter asks when is the next time we are going to Disneyland.  I, like many, want to provide for my children and give them a better life than I had.  In doing so, I have to wonder if I am doing more bad than good.  I am very sensible when it comes to money and I don’t live beyond my means.  But I don’t think these are attributes I was born with.  They are attributes I acquired through my experience as a child.  So, I definitely wonder, what types of attributes my children will learn through their experience.  I can only hope and try.  I’ve heard the best teacher leads through example, so that is what we are trying to do.  As we splashed around in the pool today, I took the time and as a gentle reminder said to everyone, “Geez, having a pool is so much fun.  We sure are lucky to have one, because not everyone does.”  My daughter than said, “Mommy, we should invite all the people that don’t have one to swim in our pool!”  And with that, I suddenly felt at ease.   The future looks bright…….and humble……   

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Some good friends of ours recently told us about “The First Tee” of Coachella Valley, a golf class for the little ones.  They have had their daughter enrolled for a few weeks and raved so much about the class that we decided to enroll our daughter and give it a try too!  I wasn’t too sure how my daughter would take to a “golf class”….I mean, I find it kinda boring (sorry, to any golfers out there), however, to our surprise (and delight) she was enthralled with the “Coach” (a very enthusiastic, sweet gal, who I learned has played on the “the tour”) and absolutely enjoyed herself!  My husband (an avid golf lover) was, of course, beside himself and was already saying “Move over Nancy Lopez!” (I just learned myself that Nancy Lopez is one of the best female golfers.).   Not being a golf enthusiast myself, I must admit that I too was excited that my daughter has discovered a new “joy” and I was quite impressed with her willingness to try something new that she knew absolutely nothing about.  Also, I think it will be great that my daughter and husband have something speical for just them to share together!  In addition to the really great staff at The First Tee (located in Palm Desert), another big plus is that with the yearly membership dues ($100), the children can visit The First Tee at anytime and hit some practice balls on their little 3 par course.  The classes are held early Saturday mornings and although  I wasn’t too thrilled with having to get up so early on a Saturday morning, it gets us out of our pajamas earlier than noon (a definite plus), and since the class only lasts one hour, the whole day is still left to enjoy & relax!  The First Tee just opened in January 2008 and I have no doubt that once our valley residents start to learn about it, we will have many little golf enthusiasts here in the desert.  Here is a pic of our “new little golfer!”

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We’ve all heard about or experienced the dreaded terrible two’s right?  We were fortunate with my daughter that the terrible two’s never came.  We waited anxiously when the three’s came expecting them to rear their ugly head……fortunately, they didn’t.  We internally thought, ”thank goodness” as we witnessed other 2 and 3 years old stamping their feet with red faces and screaming in defiance, as their parents looked helpless feeling defeated trying any means to get them to stop.   Yes, our daughter was very easy during those toddler years.  We were fortunate, we know.  However we weren’t let off that hook that easy.  Our son is definitely making up for our daughter’s lack of defiance.  At only 14 months old, my husband and I often look at eachother baffled that at this age he has no problem letting the world know when he is not happy.  It’s suprising, because as an infant he was very calm and mellow.  I think now that all those times we were gazing into eachother’s eyes he was trying to tell me, ”Just you wait mommy…..”.  This may come to a surprise to many of our friends.  In fact, they probably don’t believe me.  We’ve had many play and lunch dates and he has been a happy go-lucky 1 year old.  Yes, he saves his “vibrant, spirited, determined” little self for us at home.  While we’ve never had to deal with these little outbursts of tantrums with our daughter, this is all very new to us.  To see our son go from his charming, happy self to an episode from the exorcist, all in an instant, is well, shocking!  I never knew his little body could be so flexible during those times of frustration, but, he has a backbend like I’ve never seen before!  I definitely know the helplessness feeling now.  Yes, I’ve read the books, I know the distraction technique,  time out, etc. etc.  But, usually, my husband and I just stop and watch in fascination with it all.  We usually look at one another and than very quickly say, “he got this from you!”  Then we burst out laughing, because well, its probably the only thing from preventing us from breaking out into tears……and that typically changes the mood because my son will stop baffled at our reaction.  Afterall, that’s why our children act defiantly, for our reaction, right?  Yesterday I had the pleasure of experiencing a little “outburst” alone.  I didn’t have my husband to help feed off of and I would have felt downright silly laughing to myself….so I did try somewhat of a distraction technique.  Although, I must admit, at the time I didn’t think of it as a distraction technique. Instead I thought, “I am going to take pictures for his scrap book, so that when he gets older, he can see how silly he used to be.”  At first he ignored me as I clicked away, and then he stopped, interested.  Then his frown turned upside down instantly as it became a game!  I then had my happy, go-lucky, baby boy back.  The only problem is, now I have to take my camera with me eveywhere! :0)  For all you mommys and daddys dealing with toddlers, hang in there.  If anything, remind yourself You Are Not Alone in this adventure!  And then break out the camera too!  For your viewing pleasure, a few pics from this experience……

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A few days ago when I wrote the post about “Going Green” in our home, I expected to make small changes like, using cloth napkins instead of paper, stop buying bottled water, etc.  Life would go one….easy, breezy.  What I didn’t expect was to inquire a wealth of knowledge on plastics, chemicals, meat, soy, etc. etc.  I was to say the least, overwhelmed!  There is so much truth to the old saying, “Ignorance is bliss.”  How content I used to be using my coconut body wash, and lathering myself in coconut body lotion and then enjoying a delicious breakfast with ham and eggs on my “easy-clean up” paper plates.  That was last week!  The past few days I find myself reading ingredients on everything from household cleaning products, to my lotion, to our food!  It was during this ”research” time I found myself on the website www.goveg.com.  I then found myself viewing an undercover investigation on a farm factory (aka “slaugherhouse).  I will spare the details, as the images are still very vivid in my mind and will just say, that I was in complete tears afterwards and the very thought of meat made me sick to my stomach.  I grew up on meat & potatoes.  Meat has been a staple in our nightly dinners.  Until I viewed that investigative report, I had never really thought about how we got our meat.   Somehow, I managed to never think about it or I imagined that the cows were eating green grass and enjoying the sunshine until their time was up.  I was so naive.  The thought of being a vegetarian never entered my mind and I don’t think I have earned the right to say that I am just yet.  However, for the past three days our family has given up meat and will continue to do so.  I expected the kids and my husband to protest loudly and say that I had gone insane.  My husband watched the video too & that was all he needed to join me in our new “no more meat” venture.  My daughter asked a lot of questions, and not wanting to go into details we simply told her we were trying something new.  My son, well, at only 1 and with only 4 teeth on him…he wasn’t quite chowing down on steak yet anyways.   I expected the transition to be rather difficult, and while it has only been a few days, the transition has been rather easy.  The day we decided to “forego” the meat, I went online and printed tons of vegeterian recipes so that we would be well prepared.  The food has been quite tasty, although my son refused to eat beans! (We are still trying though).  Today we ventured out to lunch at one of our old favorite restaurants and when they asked my daughter what she wanted on her pizza, she proudly said, “Cheese only, I don’t eat pepperoni anymore!”   I am sure that we will have many people who will question this change and there will be people who will disagree.  We don’t expect people to change just because we have.  It’s a personal choice.  A choice that I am very proud we made together as a family.  Of course, it is only the end of Day 3………..we’ll touch this subject again on Day 30.  However, so far, so good.   

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I had coffee this morning with one of my favorite girlfriends.  With our sons in tow, we drank our “Starbucks”, and found ourselves discussing the environment and the whole “green” thing.  My friend told me about this great website called www.cosmeticsdatabase.com.  On this website you can type in a brand of product, such as Johnson & Johnson, Maybelline, etc.  You will get a load of valuable information such as if the product is environmentally friendly or harmful, if the company does animal testing, and most importantly if the chemicals used in their products contain toxins that are harmful to our bodies!  I was so surprised to find out that many of our “trusted brands” contain many harmful chemicals and they test their products on animals!  I have been using “Aveeno” since I had my daugher 4 1/2 years ago and was surprised to see that not only do they test on animals, but their products also contain many of the “yucky toxins’” that are hazardous to our bodies and the environment.  As a family we do “little” things to try and do our share of keeping our world green.  We recycle, we limit our use of paper goods, we buy energy star appliances, etc. ,etc.  After seeing the information available on this website, I now know that I need to take a more “pro-active” approach to living Green.  I don’t mean turning into a ”hippie-vegan-hemp” wearing person (no offense to any of you who might fit that description), but I will now start to read those labels a little more carefully to see exactly what I am putting on my little ones.  Using the organic, non-toxic, eco-friendly, no animal products type of products may cost me a little more in my wallet, but it sure does give me peace of mind knowing that I’m using the best choice available for my babies.  I mean if we can spend ridiculous amounts of money on handbags, designer jeans, and even sunglasses…..than spending a few extra dollars for better products for our children and us, should be worth it right?  Darn, right!  I’m repeating this to myself as I review my $50 order for 2-eight ounce bottles of organic baby shampoo……………I’m also saying:  “It’s for the kids, It’s for the kids, It’s for the kids.”  Okay, so I ended up not placing the order….not because I don’t think its worth it, but because my very wise girlfriend told me to “hold the submit key” and check out Trader Joes or Clarks first…..so that’s what I’m going to do (Thanks M!).  So, whether we’ll be washing our hair with $50 shampoo or something less expensive….at least we’ll know its good for us. :0)  I’ll keep you posted…..

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It has been awhile since I last was able to sit down for 5 minutes and relax!  And although it may seem strange to some, being able to sit down and post a blog is quite relaxing for me.  The days, hours, seconds - they all seem to just fly by so quickly these days.  I’m still trying to absorb yesterday and today is already here!  I’m sure it has a lot to do with being a mother, being involved in too many activities, running two businesses, etc., etc.  I often find myself yearning for some quiet moments of solitude.  It’s actually very ironic because we were married for 9 years before we had children and I used to pray for the days when I would have many children to occupy my time!  Well, God certainly answered my prayers, and I am completely grateful to have my children and the chaos they sometimes bring,  However, I know now that I took my quiet moments for granted.  Right now I am having a very “rare” moment in my life.  My wonderful husband has taken the kids with him to run errands, the phones are not ringing, and I’m sitting outside on the laptop listening to the waterfall in our pool.  It is quite serene and calm.  Moments like this do not come often for me, so I’m taking it all in and silently thanking the man/woman upstairs for giving me this opportunity.  Of course, thoughts of my children soon enter into my mind.  I smile as I think about my son.  He is starting to walk and I’m amazed that a year of his life has already gone by.  I’m curious to see what type of person he will become.  He is like my daughter in so many ways, and yet he is so different.  Out of the two, he will be the one who challenges my parenting skills.  He has so much determination for a one year old!  I am confident though that his determination will get him far in life.  And then there’s my daughter.  I would love to say that all of her wonderful qualities come from me, but I secretly know that she gets many of  these traits from her daddy.  She has such a loving and kind soul.  She is such a beautiful person (and I don’t mean on the outside)…probably the most beautiful person that I have ever met.  I predict she will likely be a “helper” in some way, bringing smiles to the many people in her life.  It’s good to have moments like these where you can reflect on your children and your life.  With the hustle and bustle of every day, its easy to take things for granted, even your kids.  Too often we are told, “enjoy every second because it’ll go by quickly”!  Sadly, that is very true.  And while I know my life could be easier, simpler, etc. if I hired a nanny, lived closer to family, or even took more time for myself, I’m reminded of what I am often told:   ”enjoy every second because it’ll go by quickly”! As crazy as my days can sometimes be…..I wouldn’t trade places with anyone for a second.  It’s a privilege to be a parent…an absolute privilege.  I’m thankful that my husband and I have been there for every milestone, every happy moment, every sickness that our children have had.  And we hope, like most, that we will be around to observe our children with their own children.  My thoughts are stopped abruptly as the phone rings…… so, it goes in my household…….

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The kids were out of school yesterday due to Presiden’ts Day & many mommies and daddies were wondering what to do with them?  The park of course!  And there are many great parks here in the desert.  We visited Freedom Park in Palm Desert.  It’s a “new” park, so one of the best things about it is that everything is so clean!  It has quite a variety of entertaining equipment for the wee little ones and the older ones too.  Also some nice tables and benches, which are shaded (very important here in the desert), for us parents to take a quick 30 second rest in between playing with our little ones.  The park is a great way to let your little ones burn off some of that energy!  They are guaranteed to go home tired and ready for a nap….without argument!  We made an adventure out of our park day and took a picnic lunch.  My daughter was so excited as she helped make turkey/avocado wraps.  (So excited that she didnt’ even realize when I snuck the spinach leaves in her wrap!)  It was a great way to get outdoors and enjoy our nice weather…..before we know it, it will be too hot to even step outside! 

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